


Running with something to lose

by littletechiebird



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU - Comicverse, Red Hood and the Outlaws, Robin (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-30
Updated: 2012-03-30
Packaged: 2017-11-02 18:33:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/372060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littletechiebird/pseuds/littletechiebird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Request: JayTim, Song: Who are you really? by Mikky Ekko</p>
            </blockquote>





	Running with something to lose

There’s a list of the hardest things anyone thinks they’ll ever have to do. It’s a little different in his case. He never thought he’d waste his time thinking about such things, and he isn’t. Not really. But stopping to think about it — dying, and then coming back — which would be harder? It might not be the one everyone thinks. Dying is terrifying at first. Staring death in the face, certainly for the first and last time. Not knowing what is ahead, but knowing that there’s a wish that someone would save you. Who would ever imagine that it was just a difference of  _seconds_  that could have prevented that. 

Screw it, though. It happened. 

It’s not scary.

It’s fine. He doesn’t give a damn.

Pulling himself together, putting himself back into the pulse of life in the world, he tried to catch up. What had happened during the absence, the new, what was now old, what faces had come around, which ones had disappeared. Thinking ahead to try to fill in the blanks yourself, blindly, before any blanks are actually filled factually is not the easiest, or even smartest, thing to do. The heart gets set on it in its own little way, even if its only in the slightest. Because, at first, the thoughts make sense. Of course that’s what happened. That person would do that, and of course  _that_ person would react like that. 

When it comes down to the story being unable to be any more wrong than what it already was, its almost maddening. It crushes the little piece of the heart that had been set on the created fiction being the truth that was just waiting to be discovered.

Because then there’s this new kid.

And then there are newspaper clippings telling all about him on the wall.

He keeps reading again and again. 

Okay, fine. Fuck it. That happened too.

Doesn’t matter that he’s a stranger.

Evidently it’s okay. They’re all idiots anyway.

It would be easy if it ended there. If there was a way to tune it out completely. But that little bastard is everywhere. Always on top of things, always at  _his_  side, and there’s just no expression behind that mask — he can tell. The kid isn’t normal and he wonders what  _he_  sees in him. Wonders what brought him to make the kid his replacement. What could he possibly have to offer? Didn’t Bruce realize the risk he was taking with this kid? Didn’t he get it now? Though maybe the kid had a death wish. Even so, he wouldn’t be dumb enough to take him up on it. He worried about those kinds of things too much anyway. 

Then again, thinking back on when that had been his opportunity to take on the cape, he hadn’t cared about the risk. It had given him reason — and a good one at that.

It’s never expected that when dealing with business all of a sudden the quiet activity becomes akin to a party. He knew he hadn’t made friends in this city. It hadn’t been an aim anyway. Someone always tries to assert themselves, to prove that they’re stronger and that he’s some snot nosed brat. But he knows better. He’s been around the block. They’re just the idiots that don’t know who they’re messing with, and he makes sure they know that.

The party is crashed — surprise, surprise — and there he was, right at  _his_  side. So now he got to see him beyond the newspaper clippings on the wall, did he? But it didn’t change his opinion. A face that was kept carefully neutral, as if he had decided to try and become a mini-bat. That was quite the task to take on, if that was what he was really thinking of. 

Was that why he had taken this on? Why was he here, now, standing before him in that costume? The whole idea of being Robin, everyone had a drive behind it. So what was this kid’s? Was it because he idolized Bruce, as Batman? Did he just have another goody-goody reason? Or did he have a vendetta? He was curious, just a little, because drive like that did not come without reason… and a good one at that.

Waiting is hardest, but he does. Plenty of time passes, and he tries to learn more. It isn’t so easy, the security has become even tighter. So waiting is worse. But waiting doesn’t mean forever — he hopes.

 He waits until he catches him alone on patrol, having split up from his new sidekick to demand answers. To question why he would possibly make this move. Who this kid was, and what he had to prove. He keeps moving on, and he’s quick to follow. Just who is this kid, and why was he here?

“He’s alone.” Is the response.

“He’s always running.” Comes the comment of his own. It was something he noticed. Just where was he going? Where was he trying to go?

“He says he has nothing left to lose.” The rasped response of the man that was the person who had grounded him, and had given him his first chance.

“Tch. If he keeps running, just who does he think will be waiting?” It’s a biting remark that earns him a glare. He doesn’t see it, just feels it. It’s familiar. Something that brings a swell of satisfaction and nostalgia, maybe even pride that it’s something he can still manage after so long.

“Besides.” He continues. “He wouldn’t be running if he didn’t have something to lose.”

Because he knows that run.

He ran like that once, too.

“He made this decision. It’s his own.” He looks to the man again, though never once does he return such a stare. “He said it woke him up.”

“He just wants control. Just another kid that’s tired, thinking they want more. They get pissed about the strings that are practically attached at the bone.”

“You were the same.”


End file.
